Hey Beautiful Mama,

So many women will hold themselves to unreachable, unattainable standards. Do you? Many Christian women use the Proverbs 31 woman as an example of exceptional faithful womanhood and will set becoming such a woman as a goal.

Proverbs 31:10-31 says:

10 Who can find a virtuous woman?
For her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,
So that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax,
And worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships;
She bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night,
And giveth meat to her household,
And a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it:
With the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength,
And strengtheneth her arms.
18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good:
Her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle,
And her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor;
Yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household:
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry;
Her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it;
And delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing;
And she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom
And in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household,
And eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously,
But thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
But a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands;
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

She sounds amazing, doesn't she? She is also unreal. She is an idea. A wise man's depiction of the perfect woman who rises early and goes down late, who provides for her family in the home, and who runs a business so fruitful she can buy a house. As an author, podcast host, course creator, mompreneur, and homeschooling mama, I can tell you it may look amazing from the outside, but it's not easy when you're starting out, and you certainly don't do everything to the best of your ability all at once. You can juggle all the things, but inevitably, you drop balls, and sometimes they're the ones you should have kept your eye on and protected from the ground. The truth is as impressive as the women you see online may sound, they're all human, just like you and me, and there is no perfect or Proverbs 31 women. She would literally die young. If we look at the life expectancy of someone with little sleep, someone who rises before everyone else, so like 4am or earlier, and goes to bed after the sun goes down, and everyone else is in bed like 10pm, or later, then we have 6 or fewer hours sleep. Top that off with pregnancy, breastfeeding, or a touch of low nutrition, and you have a recipe for fatigue, collapse, and early death. I don't mean to be morbid here, but let's be honest about the Proverbs 31 woman. I am lucky to get six hours right now. With breastfeeding and building my business in the hours, the children are asleep (also after homeschooling), my body and brain are feeling the pressure and the need for rest, but then, at the same time, I feel fuelled to keep going. I get new ideas constantly, so I have to write them down right now as I write this. Everyone else is quietly sleeping in bed, and I am typing. At some point, I know I'll have to stop; I’ll be forced to sleep in as exhaustion takes over, as it has in the past.

I feel that the Proverbs 31 woman has been used to confuse and make women feel inadequate and like they're only good enough if they can be like her. We need to break the illusion and be real here. God never meant for her to be a real woman, or she would have been, and she would have been featured in all her real woman glory. She merely represents what we can strive for. The important thing here is to strive but not die for this ideal. We can work hard, and we, as loving Christian mothers, would do almost anything for our children and our husbands, but we won't be doing anything if we don't also check in on our own being. We are a temple for the Holy Spirit, so let's not forget. We have stewardship over this body. We must take care of ourselves. I say this to you and also to myself because right now, I think I need to hear this, and I'm betting you do, too. There's so much pressure in the world and rhetoric that can worm it's way inside our heads telling us to do this or that to be better or do better, and what we are so painstakingly striving for isn't enough.

But

You are here for a reason, and your purpose is unique to you. You have a role to play in this world that no one else can fulfill. By now, you would have experienced and lived situations where you could have had your life cut short. You

​​​By now, you would have experienced and lived situations where you could have had your life cut short, yet you are still here. God has likely saved your life more than once. You are here for a reason my friend. It's not to be perfect or to live the perfect life. It's to live the life only you can live. To be the woman only you can be. Jesus came here and spent time with the sinners, he showed them love and he listened to them. He never demanded perfection, though explained what perfection looked like. God knows that we cannot be perfect that is why Jesus came and died for us. That is why we can breath easy, know that we are doing our best and no matter what we do we are saved and loved by God because we believe not because of anything we do.