I believe myself to be a minimalist, perhaps not in the sense that the term is usually used but in the sense of being intentional about possessions and things kept in the home. Over the last three years, I have systematically eliminated stuff and increased my criticism of potential new purchases. I genuinely want less in my home and plan to rid us of more clutter and unnecessary items. The point is not to get rid of everything but instead remove the things not serving us or our family. Quite often, we will have stuff in our homes that is unnecessary and clutter up our minds; Dawn from Minimal Mom will often speak of the silent to-do list and how everything we own is telling us to do something. She calls our possessions inventory. I feel this is so on point, as everything we own needs to be taken care of in some way or another.

My husband and I spent the first ten years of living together, moving from one house to the next yearly; with each house, we accumulated more. I felt like we were suffocating in all the things we had. Kind people would donate stuff to us (knowing we had little money), and I found it hard to say no. I got to the point where it took so long to clean the house that I felt fatigued just thinking about moving everything around to clean and tidy. Floors were never clear, and surfaces became a sort of dumping ground. I felt overwhelmed, to say the least. As our family started to grow, the pressure was on us to get our home under control. So, I researched and came across a multitude of different ideas and ways to rectify the problem. For the last three years, I have been implementing all the things I have learned.

Below are my top five to-do's to be less overwhelmed in your home…

I'm sure you would agree that whenever trying to undertake a significant change with children in tow, that change often takes longer to implement than expected or intended. That's okay. We need to accept our reality. That's not to say, 'don't bother' but rather to not take the dogmatic approach of 'all or nothing.' Quite often, the all-or-nothing is a means for procrastination or feeling down on oneself because we didn't get as far into a project as we may have planned or hoped to. Know that distractions will come, and there are ways to keep making progress. Dana, from a slob, 'A Slob Comes Clean,' has a no-mess method. For example, in this method, you always leave a space better than you found it, and you never pull everything out and move forward, looking at one thing at a time, be it one draw, one basket, or one shelf, you organize and take things to where they go straight away. My favorite tip from Dana is to take the trash out first. It is crazy to me how much mess is actually just trash. If you find you are crunched for time where you can actually get the work done, pick a small area for each day, and pick away at those areas by the end of the week, your home will look so much better for that daily work. (tip: always take before and after photos; you'll be amazed at how satisfying it is to look back at and remind yourself of what you have accomplished.)

There are many ways to approach having less in your home;

You can start off by having a packing party where you box everything up as if you're moving and then only take things from boxes as you need those items; you could do this over the course of 30 days, 90 days, or even a year, by the end of the year you are sure to have boxes still full and unopened, just be sure to take note of what's in each box and number them accordingly so you can easily find things (this approach is from the minimalists link here to their website)

You could try an all-day declutter event, such as the soon-to-be-held All Day Declutter with Cas from Clutterbug, Dawn from Minimal Mom, and Dana from A Slob Comes Clean (link to their site and course here for access to their all-day declutter and Facebook group).

These big action steps can fuel you forward when coupled with a community, friends, or family to help you. Studies have been done on body doubling, and I can say it effectively gets more done. I personally love the All-day declutters. Even if you can't make them live, they give you fuel to get through a ton of crap in your home. So many people share their results as well, which is great to see because they are just like you and me, doing the challenge to better their homes. You don't have to do something big, though. You could just start with 15 minutes a day like dawn suggests. This has, at times, worked well for me. Sometimes, an all-day thing is just not going to happen, but picking a spot in your home and working on making it better for 15 minutes is fairly easy to do (Dawn has a PDF downloadable on her website minimalmom.com that comes with a checklist to help you succeed in this habit.)

The great thing about today's technological age is the accessibility of ideas and people. There are many home organizers and influencers whom you can look to for various skills and strategies. When it comes to home management, decluttering, and tidying, the people I look to are

#1 Dawn from Minimal Mom

#2 Cassandra Aarssen from Clutterbug

#3 Dana K. White from A Slob Comes Clean

​Of course, there are many other people you could look to online, but I feel these are the best to look at. When I look for a role model, I look for someone who has succeeded in the area I am looking at growing in; this person doesn't have to align with my every thought or belief; they just have to be good and successful in that one thing. I can then look at their strategies and ideas around that skill and take on various habits that fit my life and family. Dawn is like a friend helping you in your home, and Cas can be a little like a personal trainer. She pushes you forward, and Dana is the mama bear who gives you practical advice in a no-nonsense way. All three of these women are wonderful, but only Dawn sees herself as a minimalist and has done the work to live minimally. Minimal living isn't something everyone wants in their current season, so it's essential to choose someone you can resonate with.

It can be easy to get carried away in the decluttering frenzy. The more you toss, the more you want to toss. Honestly, the first few times can be daunting or even slightly scary as you worry about regret. But it becomes kind of addictive. It's important to remember our actual needs. Rain jackets, for example, are a need, want, and a must, especially if you have young children or elderly living with you. Shoes are also necessary, and rainboots, if you live on a farm like we do, are a must because they give your regular shoes a longer life span. Winter is not very forgiving, especially in the dirt, rain, and swamp-like terrain. The literal seasons are something we must keep in mind, but so too are the seasons of life. You'll need different equipment and devices today, as a mother of littles, breastfeeding, and making playdough; next year or a few years in time, you might be jumping up and down in pain because you stepped on yet another tiny, tiny piece of Lego plastic. The seasons of life are much like the actual seasons in that there are things, devices, and habits that we might have to implement or use but can phase out as time goes on. After experiencing six pregnancies and four living children, I can admit the seasons can become entwined as you relive and experience similar seasons. This last pregnancy, I finally gave into getting pregnancy clothing; I had been reluctant to invest in these because what nine months, but times that by six, and that's a fair few days of being uncomfortable in clothing that doesn't work for pregnancy. Those clothes are now away for possible future pregnancies as we have no plans on stopping growing our family.

Sometimes, the most significant obstacles we face are the family members we live with who don't align with our new dream of having less, or maybe they want less, but they don't want to do the work to have it. Here, we can be patient and find comfort in knowing that doing the work ourselves in one room well will give them an indication of what the rest of the house could or would look like if your idea of decluttering was achieved. I did this, and it worked very well. Focusing on one room and showing my husband the difference it makes to our lives, I gave him the declutter bug. You don't want to try to force anyone to do anything. I found a way to frame the idea so they could see the benefits; it was fairly easy for my kids; I pointed out that they had too much stuff, and it was getting in the way of them having fun and playing. I told them if they got rid of some of their toys, they'd have more room to play and less mess to clean up at the end of the day. My kids liked this and liked giving away their toys to charity. The beauty of these experiences is seeing the children's character, how kind and giving they are, and how joyful they are when they have new space to twirl around.
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I must clarify here that I am by no means saying that minimalism will solve all your problems or that decluttering is your only solution to all your problems. Clutter is a problem, but it is one of many in life. If you're feeling overwhelmed in your home, you probably have too much stuff. Taking one, some, or all of the ideas above could make a difference in your life and home.