I wrote the following article while waiting to deliver and officially miscarry my first experience of pregnancy loss. As I have now come through to the other side of grief to healing, I felt I should share this with anyone who is in the depths of the valley, waiting and in need of strength, comfort, and peace. I pray that this serves you well my friend.

In this time of labor, pain, sorrow, and of grief, God is there, ready to bear our burdens (PSA 68:19) and give us strength. Because He cares for us (1 PET 5:7), He will help us find rest for our souls. We need only seek Him (MAT 11:28-29), praise Him, and know He is good. We should also keep in mind that what He does and makes good is beyond our imagining (ISA 55:8-11). We must take comfort in knowing we will see this child one day when our time comes to join them in heaven (2 SAM 12:21-23).

If you, like me, are experiencing a miscarriage, then you might be feeling silly like you shouldn't be crying so much because the child was never born; it never came into the world. I have been finding it even harder with all the talk of abortion and women's rights. It's confronting to see so many women advocate for the choice to kill their baby when I just unwillingly lost mine. It makes me angry. (Please note I'm not talking about the medically necessary abortions) How can these women be so ungrateful for the healthy miracle inside of them? While I love and have lost. Here is what secular society tells us about the unborn baby, it's just a clump of cells, a 'fetus,' and 'it wasn't even a real baby.' Some women believe this, while others are affected by it and wonder if they have experienced a real loss.

God made your child and had the design before he/she was in your womb (JER 1:5). Your child was fearfully and wonderfully made (PSA 139:13-16) even if they never truly made it into the world. Your baby was a life the moment that egg was fertilized. The loss feels real because it is real.

We have lost a very real and wonderful creation of God in miscarriage. Society can say what it wants, but you and I both know we felt that life inside of us; we felt our bodies change, and we still feel that change, maybe even now. It's okay to weep. It is better to weep than to be angry. I gave in to anger, and my husband, wisely, told me: 'Weep. Feel what you need to feel. Anger isn't helping anyone, including you.' It was relieving to have him tell me this – as strange as it sounds, I felt I needed permission to mourn the loss of my child. If you feel silly, please take this as the permission you may be looking for: weep, let yourself feel the loss. Only then can you move forward.

God will make good of this loss. Most of us don't know and will never know why this miscarriage occurred. We are repeatedly told that it's not our fault, though we may feel it is. We search for why it could have happened. I won't say I'm not at fault because I don't know. I do know I wanted my baby, and I never wished harm to him or her.

​I have found I feel uplifted by the countless stories I have read and heard where women have spoken about their experience with miscarriage. They also go into how their experience allowed them to be there for someone who is going through a miscarriage, too. These stories of connection and friendship are often described similarly: healing and uplifting. I can imagine helping someone through this, sharing my own story, and being able to fully comprehend and understand what they're experiencing. I can imagine this may be a revitalizing experience after having gone through only half of the journey of a miscarriage myself. I hope I don't have to help another, not because I don't want to be there for someone, but because if I am, they have gone through this awful experience. If someone has to go through it, I hope to be one of many in that woman's life who helps them through this, strengthening them with love and faith and weeping with them when they weep (JOH 11:32-35.)

I can barely remember writing this now; I remember the feelings as I wrote, how torn I was, and how sad I felt. I remember questioning everything and wanting to scream out at all the craziness going on. Of course, the abortion debate is still going on, and the life of the unborn is still in jeopardy. I want you to know as you wait, and go through the emotions of grief that you will make it through this. You are stronger than you think, and you don't have to rely on your own strength to get you through because you have His. Below are some resources I have created to help you through this season, and below are some of the passages I found truly helpful. God bless you mama.

Matthew 11:28-29

"28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."

Psalm 68:19

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, eventhe God of our salvation. Selah."

1 Peter 5:7

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

Isaiah 55:8-11

"8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: 11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing where to I sent it."

2 Samuel 12:21-23

"21Then said his servants unto him, What things is this that thou hast done? Thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. 22 And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? 23 But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

Jeremiah 1:5

"Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations."

Psalm 139:13-16

"13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them."

John 11:32-35

​"32 Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,34 And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.35 Jesus wept."

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